Bring On My Future!!

At FHE the other night, we listened to a talk by Elder Holland. Now this may not seem like a super enjoyable FHE activity for a singles ward...but for some reason I really appreciated the talk and it really hit home for me. Most of the talk was about forgetting past sins and forgiving yourself completely. Eventhough this was the main theme of Holland's talk, it wasn't what hit me. Instead, I was more impressed by his council to not dwell in the past at all...no matter how good or bad it may have been. I think it's as easy to dwell on a time that was better as it is to dwell on a time that was full of mistakes. I feel I'm in that place right now. This "inbetween" stage for me is weird.

There are so many fun/good things that have happened in the past several years for me that I feel I'll never be able to have such a great time again. Playing college volleyball was such an amazing opportunity for me to make wonderful friends, travel fun places, and experience a lot of growth. I'm pretty much used to not having it anymore...but I often reflect on the fun times and wish I could go back. Elder Holland suggested that we not yearn for old times, but instead look forward to a good future. At this point, I just want to start my new future as a law student. I'm ready to stop looking back on "fun times" and instead look forward to "better times".

There are so many things coming up for me. I'm turning 23 in less than a week and I still have so much to do in my life. I guess I shouldn't continue to miss the old times so much and I should focus on making the brightest future possible. I wish it was easier to do. I wish I could look forward to my future with so much faith that I didn't have any doubts or fears. But it happens...worries come when the future is unsure. It's an exciting yet critical time for me.

So to finish things up, here is part of his talk that really hit me.

“Is there any future for me? What does a new year, or a new semester, or a new major, or a new romance hold for me? Will I be safe? Will life be sound? Can I trust in the Lord and in the future? Or would it be better to look back, to go back, to go home? To all such of every generation I call out, ‘Remember Lot’s wife.’ Faith is for the future. Faith builds on the past but never longs to stay there. Faith trusts that God has great things in store for each of us and that Christ is the ‘high priest of good things to come.’ I pray you will have a wonderful semester, a wonderful year, a wonderful life all filled with faith and hope and charity. Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant, and live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, trust and divine love transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever.”
-Jeffery R. Holland ("Remember Lot’s Wife" January 2009 BYU Devotional)