So Long Sweet Summer

So today I spent my hour long break from work doing school stuff. Yeah, school doesn't start for 3 weeks, but there is plenty to be done. As I went through emails and started getting a few things done, I realized there is a lot I should have already done and there is plenty more to be done in the next couple weeks. Ugh. Law school fail. I answered some emails, deleted emails that I missed deadlines for (oops), took a gander at my book list, re-read instructions for law review, researched topics for law review, stressed over my fall schedule, emailed academic advisers about my fall schedule, looked over my fall schedule, worried, and made NO final decisions. Productive? A bit. Satisfying and relieving? Not at all.

The past year has gone by so fast. Last year at this time I was getting ready to start my law school journey. I had no idea what I was in for. I was scared, but excited. Nervous, but ready. (to read what I felt the week before school started, click HERE...I laugh at that post now because those things became so routine to me and it really wasn't all that bad). As frightened as I was, I surprised myself with how well I adjusted and how well I did in school. I was really happy with my entire year and I accomplished things that I never imagined I would. I even LIKED school here and there (crazy, I know). It's hard work, but it was somewhat rewarding.

I'm not scared this time around. However, I am still a tad stressed about starting school again. This fall is going to be hard work. Probably the hardest semester yet. I wish I felt ready to conquer the challenge, but I find myself feeling nervous and inadequate once again. I know once I get back into the swing of things I'll feel better and it will just feel like regular old school again...but until then, I might freak out a bit. I was telling an old teammate about how I felt and she said, "but isn't that what you're good at?...freaking out?!". And I guess she's right. I put a lot of pressure on myself and freak/stress out a lot...but I do it because it motivates me I guess. I like pressure. Sooo as nervous as I am, I'm glad I have a challenge ahead. (Stay tuned).

Looking back on the past year, it is a blur. It really did fly by faster than any year of my life up to this point. It's one of those years that you look back on and wonder if it even happened. My fear is that my 2L and 3L years will go just as fast. I am going to be spit into the real working world too soon. I sure hope I like my job too...because starting a career at 26...that's a longggg life of the same old same old. Let's just hope time slows down and allows for me to grow up a little bit. I wonder when I'm supposed to FEEL older and grown-up? I'm still waiting. Maybe at 25. I'll let you know. For now, I'm going to try my best to enjoy the last little bit of summer without stressing out. K...ready...GO!